TheOllieWatts's blog
Handling rejection
Hello world of MF.
I had debated doing a blog for this or not, but the situation has left a bitter taste in my mouth so I wanted to share my feelings and thoughts.
So I received a message from a member yesterday asking to meet up. This individual had messaged before (during which he'd been quite rude and abrasive) and I had told him upon his apology that it was accepted but I wouldn't be meeting. Ignoring his further correspondence didn't stop this so upon being asked if I was 'ever going to man up' and meet him I sent a no interest and then blocked further communication as it remained unproductive.
Half an hour later I receive a message from advising me that he had gone into the chatroom and stated he had met with me yesterday and that I had pulled a knife out on him.
This is a situation I never expected to find myself in, and in general I found it quite shocking and stressful. Immediately I had to try to 'clear my name' for an incident that had never occurred. Though that isn't the main issue I'm wanting to talk about (as it has now been dealt with thanks to the work of the admin team of MF who I appreciate their quick response). Although I tried to laugh it off afterwards it still was a horrid situation to encounter.
What I wanted to stress to everyone is the importance of resilience in this world, and I guess compassion. It's horrible being rejected, I can appreciate that. I've been rejected many times and it stings every single time, and maybe I too need to thicken my skin. But it's one thing to be hurt and annoyed and another to try to destroy someone's reputation and create false accusations to terrify others. So I implore everyone to take a moment to process before reacting. The fight or flight response when you're under stress or in the throes of rage is not productive or helpeful for yourself or anyone, so take a moment to think of your actions, take a breather before you respond to make a more sensible decision.
Secondly compassion, something I perhaps lacked in this matter. I made a judgement and in honesty I don't think i handled it in the best manner. Perhaps there were more productive ways I could have communicated, but I had dealt with the behaviour previously and I had a negative perception going into the conversation. So to those messaging people, I hope you like me now make to have a little compassion and kindness for each other, we are all here for our interests and fun, not to hurt anyone. So I hope we all spread love and kinship to one another (what with V-Day coming up seems relevant to release my inner hippie).
The matter is dealt with and at this point in time the individual has been suspended, if he returns I may have to deal with that when it comes to it, but I hope that I've learnt something from this and in turn those who read this take time to contemplate the points I raised.
Let's have a good rest of the year people. In closing to cheer people up here is a picture of a 'hot dog'
N00b : )
Wrestle in london (15)
13/2/2017 20:22That's awful, I'm sorry you had to justify yourself. I hope you've reached a resolution.
edscissors (31 )
14/2/2017 01:33That sounds like a bad moment for you. So sorry you've had that to deal with. Thank goodness there are also such a lot of nice, generous, tolerant people here on this excellent site. And well done, Admin: sounds like a timely and decisive intervention.
wibster74 (1)
14/2/2017 17:59I'm just sorry that it comes to someone having to apologise for somebody else being a pr!ck....not your fault mate and from what I read you didn't handle it wrong at all......don't beat yourself up about it......that's for us to do ;)
Christian Rage (47)
15/2/2017 10:18Sorry to hear that's what's happened. I too have had something similar although the individual claimed I'd been having an affair with them and then stole a substantial amount of money leaving them destitute and being out on the street. All of which vehemently denied as people that know me can testify.
It does leave a bitter taste and as you say rejection isn't easy. I accept I can't be everyone's taste but the amount of unresponsded messages still makes you feel despondent.
There's plenty of good people out there - choose wisely and keep wrestling fella
sundaylight (13)
02/7/2017 11:53Where's the hot dog?
Will the wrestler (2 )
03/9/2019 21:30I know it's been a while since you posted this blog but it was nice to read. It is hard being rejected and I've been rejected pretty often unfortunately. I would never go and spread lies about the person though. I agree with you that we should all be kinder to each other on here. We're here for the same interests and it doesn't help to just ignore somebody or to be hateful to them.
Thanks again for the post man!