Wrestling Beast's blog
The Buddy System
Once upon a time, I met my first opponent in a hotel room for a wrestling match. I had a good time and was safe, but I was not careful because I told no one where I was going or whom I was meeting. What if I had not come back from that match?
In situations where you are meeting an opponent for the first time, there is no substitute for safety. This is especially true if your opponent has no confirmed prior matches. Of course, everyone has to start from scratch, so a lack of confirmed matches should not raise a huge red flag. Be suspicious if this wrestler has been on the site for years without confirmed opponents, could be a fake or worse.
Ideally, I should appear as an prior opponent on the profile of every person whom I have designated as an opponent. Some of my opponents do not check all three sites that often, so there may be discrepancies. However, just about every opponent should have indicated me as a past opponent on one site or another. Check your opponent across all three mainstream sites.
I do not think you need be apprehensive of every potential opponent on these sites. If your potential opponent has lots of confirmed prior opponents and recommendations, you should be safe. But if feel you may not be with any opponent, especially when you meet an opponent for the first time, you should inform somebody of where you are going and who you are going to meet. This is your buddy (gender neutral).
Everybody these days should have a cell phone. You should have your opponent's and he should have yours. Your buddy should also have your cell and you should have his. You should call or text your buddy when you arrive at the meeting place. Tell him to call you in one hour and keep calling. If he does not get an answer or a text wherein you say you are fine, he should call the police.
If you are wrestling in a hotel room, do not forget to tell your buddy your room number. If you do not know the number when you arrive, text it to your buddy as soon as you know. Excuse yourself to the men's room if you need to.
Be upfront and honest with your opponent. Tell him that you expect a safety call in about an hour which you have to take. Ensure you can hear your phone and it has a charge. When you hear the ring, break off whatever you are doing and take it.
But I don't have a buddy I am comfortable sharing this stuff with, you say? I realize that many fighters keep this sort of thing a secret from their friends, family and their significant others. I would suggest asking a good person from one of these personals sites who lives near to the meeting place to act as your buddy. The buddy should be near because 911 is a service intended to be local, so a buddy from another state may not be as helpful. The buddy should have the telephone numbers for police and fire/emt at his command.
You should set up a panic signal with your buddy if you feel unsafe in an encounter and do not feel strong enough to break it off without assistance. I would advise against shouting "Help" into your phone. Instead, when your buddy calls, ask him something that would make sense to anyone other than him. For example, if your buddy is unmarried, ask him "How's the wife?" If he has no children, no living parents, etc. Just in case he may forget the specific panic phrase, he will should still remember the panic phrase is not supposed to make sense and act accordingly.
There are people out there who would love nothing more than to wear your skin or kick your skull around like a soccer ball. They will give out fake information, have fake IDs and mask their internet history by using proxy servers in third world countries. They will slip a ruffie into your water, whack you over the head with a crowbar, or not let up on that rear naked choke. There is no guarantee that the police will be able to bring your murderer to justice, so use the buddy system and it will go a long way to making sure they will not have to.
Guysmiley (41 )
10/8/2012 16:02All good advice, Wrestling Beast. One can't be too careful in this day and age. The bad economy enhances the chances of meeting someone with more than grappling on his/her mind. I have always been someone who "goes with his gut" when it comes to meeting people. If we haven't chatted much and shared extra pics, I demand to meet first in a public place, such as a bar or restaurant, where I can get a true feel for the person. Then I make a decision of whether to proceed or not. On the odd chance that I am able to chat and share with a person, I have learned to take a read that way as well. But to your point, I always make sure one of my trusted friends knows my schedule and have pre-arranged signals and calls as you point out.
Thanks for the reminders.
RhodyRaybo (99)
11/8/2012 14:39I've had hotel matches with 3 different guys. Fortunately I haven't had any bad experiences with any of them. One thing that I require is that they have wrestled someone I know previously. If they just say I've wrestled "Wrestling Beast", but won't tell me his name,....red flag. It's always important to leet someone know where you are. Cell phones can die or get lost. I've seen too many episodes of "Disappeared" to think that they are a guarantee of safety. In this day and age, safety first!
xlotta (1)
19/9/2015 15:38bellissimo