edscissors's blog
Should one feel guilty?
In my profile I mention that I'd always prefer to receive a personal message from anyone interested in meeting me. A guy hit the "challenge" button. He lives a long way from me, in a different country. He gave me no indication why he wanted to meet me - but I was flattered, of course.
I wrote back politely, declining his challenge, as I didn't think we were a very good match.
He messaged back asking why.
I replied, still trying to sweeten the pill, politely. Sorry, but I prefer to meet younger guys.
He replied with just one word: "BAD".
I was tempted to send the same back to him - maybe even to block him - but I think I have more than fulfilled my profile promise to reply politely to anyone who contacts me.
I expect I shall receive some "hate" votes for a sort of minor rant ... but I really don't feel too guilty about this Swiss guy. Maybe rejecting him as an opponent was "my bad" (I hate this expression) ... but, personally, I would never ask WHY I'd been rejected. My practice is, always, to THANK the guy for his response then leave him alone: not everyone bothers to reply and it is so important (in my view) that we are polite and considerate one to another here at MF.
Edward
osakarob (79 )
01/10/2017 20:30If someone isn't motivated enough to write you a proper message with an invitation to meet, you shouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever about your response. In my opinion, the "Challenge" button is simply akin to a "hey there!" message, such as what one might find on a dating app. You are under no expectation to even reply to them.
But if someone takes the time to actually write you a message with an offer to meet, then you should respond. And frankly, the fact that you provided the guy with the reasons why you might not be a good fit seems like more than enough in terms of civil manners.
edscissors (31 )
02/10/2017 13:09(C'est une réponse)
Many thanks for the vote of confidence, Osakarob!
edscissors (31 )
25/9/2017 23:51Thanks, Tynesider, for your sensible response. I was steeling myself for being accused of a "rant" ... but so far, only sensible people (that is, YOU) have responded.
Tynesider (84)
25/9/2017 23:20I agree that this can be a minefield. Personally I would state why I'm not interested and leave it at that as i am not obliged to get into a dispute or to continue the conversation. I also retain the right to change my mind.
It is human nature I suppose but some men can be oversensitive - you may be accused of having a rant but that is now as predictable as the sun rising tomorrow.